Dear Coleen
I am a woman in my twenties currently in a new relationship that has been ongoing for a few weeks.
While my partner is attractive and engaging, I find his excessive eagerness off-putting. This level of attention early in a relationship is unfamiliar to me, as my past dating experiences involved uncertainty about the other person’s interest.
During this short period, we have spent a weekend away together, met his colleagues for drinks, interacted with his family members, and engaged in constant communication via text.
I am unsure if my concerns are valid or if I am being unappreciative. While my friends have a positive opinion of him based on limited interactions, I am contemplating whether to suggest slowing down the pace of our relationship. I feel the need for personal space to evaluate my emotions, despite the possibility that he could be the right match for me. Should I be cautious of any warning signs in this scenario or embrace the romantic gestures?
Coleen advises
It appears that the intensity of your relationship within a short timeframe is causing your unease. However, rather than hastily ending things, consider expressing your feelings openly and observing his reaction. If he demonstrates understanding by giving you space, it shows maturity. Communicate that you appreciate his company but require time to yourself and for maintaining other relationships. Acknowledge your unfamiliarity with such enthusiasm and your ongoing efforts to manage it.
If you genuinely see a future with him and hold strong feelings, do not hesitate to share your thoughts. Establish a foundation of openness and honesty from the beginning.
Maintaining a level of longing and playfulness in the relationship is beneficial. Avoid taking each other for granted and strive to keep the spark alive.
Regarding your previous relationships, a partner’s lack of commitment may raise more concerns than a partner who expresses genuine interest and pursues a serious relationship.
If you feel overwhelmed, consider spacing out activities and slowing down the pace. It does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.
She gained fame for her forthright opinions on Loose Women and is now known as the UK’s most direct advice columnist, addressing issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
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