A former builder who was threatened with electric shock therapy for wearing a dress as a child has finally come out as a transgender woman in her 60s.
Pensioner Samantha Wolsey, 69, previously known as Billy, first wore a dress at the age of six but what happened next stayed with her for the rest of her life. Her father took her to see a psychiatrist, who shockingly suggested electric shock treatment.
“I felt absolutely superb when I first put a dress on (as a child). But my dad hated it, because he’s always wanted men in his life. That’s realistically what messed me up.”
She said: “I managed to get out of the room, and I turned around to my dad and said, ‘If you want that shock treatment, lie on it yourself’. I said, ‘It’s you who bloody needs it and not me’.”
One of 11 children, with six brothers and four sisters, Samantha refused this treatment and continued to cross-dress over the years. In 1978, still living as Billy and working as a builder, she met Denise, now 66, in a pub, who would go on to become the love of her life.
When Samantha first told Denise about cross-dressing, Denise did not believe her – until she dressed up and showed her. Samantha recalls Denise saying: “You look OK from your neck down, but that bloody wig, what you’ve got on, it’s absolutely disgusting.”
Despite initially criticising the wig, Denise began bringing home bags of feminine clothes as a gesture of support for her partner’s hobby.
“When I came home from work, there was a carrier bag with all sorts in it – bras, knickers, you name it,” Samantha told PA Real Life.
SHOCK NIGHT
One night in the 1990s, Samantha went out with some male friends while dressed as a woman under the guise of raising money for Children In Need.
She was attacked from behind at a taxi rank in Leigh, resulting in severe injuries and taken to the hospital, where she “lost all (her) teeth”, prompting her to keep her identity hidden for years and only dress in women’s clothing behind closed doors.
That changed in 2010, however, when Samantha and Denise went on holiday to Spain, and Denise surprised Samantha by packing a suitcase full of women’s clothing. “I started unpacking it, and I said, ‘Have you given me the wrong case here?’” Samantha said. “Denise said, ‘No, why?’ I said, ‘It’s all women’s clothes’. “She said, ‘Yeah, that’s the whole idea’. There were even bikinis in there!”
The couple continued to holiday in Spain, Greece and Turkey over the years, with Samantha feeling free to indulge her feminine side. Tragically, in 2014, Denise developed paraneoplastic syndrome – a rare immune response to a tumour in her chest – giving her a six-month life expectancy.
After 18 months, she was still alive, defying initial expectations, so she moved into a care facility in Wigan due to her needs. In 2020, Samantha moved into one of Belong Wigan’s independent living apartments to be closer to her wife, and it was here that her life really changed.
Staff supported Samantha to properly come out as transgender and live authentically for the first time in her life – and now she wants to encourage others to do the same, regardless of age or past struggles.
While Samantha still loves Denise, their relationship has shifted to a friendship – even though Denise would be willing to have sex, Samantha feels unable to fulfil that side of their relationship because of her wife’s diminished capacity.
Out of respect, Samantha says she does not want to explore other romantic relationships while her wife is still alive. “If my wife wasn’t here, I might go for a relationship as Samantha,” she explained. “But because my wife’s still here, I don’t think I could. I’d feel guilty.”
Living at Belong gave Samantha the confidence to dress as a woman in public for the first time after being attacked. One evening in 2023, she dressed up as Samantha and claimed it was “for a fancy-dress party”.
The next day, a staff member encouraged her to be herself, and from that day she has embraced her identity full-time, with other residents given an opportunity to attend a Q&A about her transition.
“Everybody, as far as I know, has accepted me,” she said. Only one of Samantha’s brothers still visits her, but her friends are all supportive.
Her friend Giovanni had long suspected Samantha’s identity, joking that he always noticed her loitering in the women’s section when they went shopping, seeing through her claims that she was “just looking for Denise”.
In 2023, Samantha legally changed her name through deed poll, costing her £200. She said she spends her pension getting her nails manicured and has an extensive collection of 40 dresses and 30 wigs, and she delights in wearing heels.
She now feels proud to be part of the local LGBTQ+ community, even participating in Wigan Pride. Looking back, Samantha regrets not transitioning earlier – and may have considered surgery if she was younger – but remains proud of her journey.
She hopes her story will inspire others to embrace their true selves, regardless of age. “If you want to do it, go for it,” Samantha said. I’ll be there if you want to talk to somebody.”
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